Mary Kay’s Fantastic Trip to Congress

Tasty would like to share a teeny tiny fantasy about SEIU President Mary Kay Henry. It goes like this:

One sunny day, Mary Kay makes her way from the Purple Palace to the U.S. Capitol so she can testify about SEIU’s enthusiastic support for speedy union elections because they’re totally fair and, like, democratic and super all-American!

Mary Kay, seated in front of a Congressional committee, delivers remarks carefully sculpted by SEIU’s media consultants. During the speech, Mary Kay says the words “freedom,” “democracy” and “America” about a zillion times – kinda like her recent statement on exactly this subject.

Her speech ends in an explosion of nationalistic fervor as pimple-faced SEIU organizers throw heaps of red, white and blue confetti in the air. When things finally settle down in the hearing room, a Congressperson leans forward on a creaky chair and speaks these words into the mic:

Congressperson: Ms. Henry… Am I to understand that SEIU officially endorses speedy NLRB elections for America’s workers?

MKH: Absolutely! It’s the American way!... George Washington!

Congressperson: Well… please tell me this: Why has SEIU blocked an election for 450 workers at Children’s Hospital in Oakland, California for 2 ½ years?

MKH: Well. I don’t… Uhh… SEIU would never…

Congressperson: Ms. Henry… The record is extremely clear on this. In just the past four months, SEIU’s law firm has filed more than a dozen charges to block workers’ election, including these seven charges filed over just two days. All of these bogus charges – which were eventually dismissed – were part of your union’s campaign to block workers’ request for a simple election.

MKH: (sweat beading on forehead) Uhhh…

Congressperson: Ms. Henry… do you know how long a Congressperson’s term of office is? It’s two years. Do you realize that you’ve blocked an election that was requested by your own union’s members for longer than my term of office?

MKH: (nervous twitch contorting face)

Congressperson: Now… if I had stopped my constituents from voting in an election just so I could stay in office, do you know what would happen? I’d be investigated by the FBI, the Justice Department and the Supreme Court. I’d probably go to jail.

MKH: Uhhh…

Congressperson: Ms. Henry… now that we know the truth about SEIU's record, why should we believe a single word that comes out of your mouth?

MKH: (trembling)

Congressperson: Fellow committee members, I move that we order a Congressional investigation into SEIU as well as any NLRB official who participated in this dastardly scheme to deny democracy to workers. And I move that we impose mandatory jail terms on violators... All in favor?

The Whole Committee: AYE!!!

At this point, a mob of disenfranchised workers rushes forward from the back of the committee room and carries Mary Kay to her jail cell!

Mary Kay Henry and the B.S. Meter

Today, Tasty is launching a new tool to help monitor the dishonesty and disinformation that has become a permanent feature of SEIU's daily life. It's called the "B.S. Meter."

How does it work? Simple. If you spout some crazy-ass falsehoods, fabrications and plain-old lies, Tasty will rank you on a scale of 1 to 100.

For its inaugural roll-out, Tasty has decided to aim his BS Meter at none other than SEIU President Mary Kay Henry. Here’s why.

As readers are no doubt aware, for the past 2 ½ years SEIU has used every gutter-level trick in the book to block, stall and delay the NLRB elections requested by tens of thousands of California workers who want to switch unions. The NLRB is supposed to schedule these elections within 45 days after receiving workers’ petitions.

But SEIU, knowing they’d lose the elections, hired armies of attorneys who filed bogus legal interventions to stall workers’ elections… sometimes for years. At California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco, SEIU blocked workers’ election for more than 800 days.

At another California hospital, SEIU attorneys Bruce Harland, Manny Boigues and Glenn Rothner filed seven “blocking charges” in a two-day period – the equivalent of throwing multiple wrenches into the lame bureaucratic machinery of the NLRB.

This is why Tasty calls SEIU the “no free choice” union – because SEIU works overtime to stop its own union members from participating in free, democratic elections.

So, you can imagine that Tasty was a bit surprised this week when Mary Kay Henry sent out this personal press statement in press releases and email blasts:

One of the fundamental rights we all share as Americans is the right to vote - to vote for our elected officials and to vote whether to form a union.

In just the first six months of this year, we have witnessed unprecedented assaults on workers' rights in states across the country. Now, the NLRB is taking a positive step for workers who want to exercise their fundamental right to decide for themselves whether to form a union.

Too many workers have seen their efforts to join together on the job defeated by costly litigation and delaying tactics by their employer. Many never get the chance to make their voices heard at the ballot box. This rule change would protect a right that is central to our democracy - the right to vote…

It's time to restore some measure of balance and fairness to the system, starting with making sure workers have the right to vote whether to form a union without unnecessary delays.

WTF!! Are you kidding me!! This is like Jeffrey Dahmer issuing a press release to celebrate his lifetime of vegetarianism.

That’s why the B.S. Meter has given Mary Kay – and her shameless and pathetically dishonest message – an off-the-chart score of 150!