Thursday, December 1, 2011

Toto Joins SEIU-Kaiser Permanente Propaganda Campaign

Have you ever wondered what might cause Kaiser and SEIU to feature Dorothy, Toto and the Wizard of Oz in an article about the Labor Management Partnership (LMP)? Well, check out this story.

Apparently, workers at Kaiser Permanente have become increasingly disgusted with the Partnership between SEIU and Kaiser. According to the LMP’s magazine called “Hank,” a recent survey of employees reveals that many workers have “negative perceptions of partnership.” What a shocker!

Well... the head-honchos at Kaiser and SEIU have gotten so nervous about their plunging popularity that they decided to launch a propaganda campaign featuring videos, online quizzes and glossy articles that are aimed at convincing workers to support for the LMP.

Sounds kinda ominous… until you take a look at the hilariously lame materials that SEIU and Kaiser have shoveled into their first propaganda piece.

The two partners – in their typical, arrogant fashion – have once again decided to treat workers like a bunch of six-year-olds. Their ingenious article uses a “Wizard of Oz” theme that features pictures of workers and Toto gazing down the Yellow Brick Road from their perch inside Dorothy’s giant shoes.

The super-defensive article is entitled: “PARTNERSHIP? REALLY? If the Labor Management Partnership Is All It’s Cracked Up To Be, Why Do We Keep Hearing These Myths about It?” And it includes gems of wisdom like these:
Myths are useful when they help people understand their world. They get in the way when they prop up and lend an air of truth to outdated ideas. Fourteen years in, it’s troubling there are some persistent myths, the latter kind, about the Labor Management Partnership.

Partnership is not a diabolical management scheme to hoodwink union members… Misunderstanding partnership basics like these undermines our ability to produce superior health care outcomes.

The naysayers perpetuate a different view of LMP, claiming… that management has co-opted the unions.
But wait, gentle readers! That’s not all! This hard-hitting article tries to tackle myths like this one:
MYTH: The Labor Management Partnership is a way to hoodwink frontline workers. Unions that partner with employers are selling out their members’ interests.
How to answer this one? Fortunately, an SEIU-UHW “partnership representative” at Kaiser San Jose Medical Center sets all of the silly workers straight: “The partnership has always been a win-win.” Whew! That explains it all! Tasty knew there was a perfectly good reason why Dave Regan accepted the $242 million cut in Kaiser workers’ lump-sum pension payouts without ever putting it to a vote of the membership. Win-win!

Tasty especially likes this bizarre picture of the Wicked Witch of the West using her crystal ball to watch workers (and Toto) as they desperately seek the “the other side of the rainbow” while they float in giant high-heeled shoes along the Yellow Brick Road! (Btw, who's the witch?)

So who penned this inane article? Tasty hears it was the brainchild of Dave Regan and John August (Executive Director of the Coalition of Kaiser Permanente Unions), who apparently smoked massive amounts of drugs before sketching their Pulitzer Prize-winning piece. Hey Dave and John -- Tasty can’t wait ‘til your next article comes out!